Dad for Beginners

Amateurism at its best

August 28, 2013
by Creed

The Remarkable Helplessness of Human Babies

As any new parent will surely attest, babies are remarkably helpless. It is frustrating. So frustrating, in fact, that online forums of emotional solace exist merely so new parents can vent their frustrations and confirm that they are, indeed, not … Continue reading

August 16, 2013
by Creed

Counting in Months: Parents and Prisoners

Do you still use your fingers to help with simple addition? Don’t be ashamed if you do. I admit that I do on occasion. I try my best not to get caught counting on my fingers but the truth is, … Continue reading

August 12, 2013
by Creed
1 Comment

Thousands of Years of Bad Parenting Advice: Colonial America

In Colonial America, children were expected to be contributors to the family. Even in the formative infant years, children were discouraged from crawling and were placed in upright positions because it more appropriately mirrored an adult posture. Parents would often … Continue reading


August 8, 2013
by Creed

Parental Vanity & Bodily Functions: Babies Need Extensive Wardrobes

Sometimes it amazes me how many clothes my infant son has. He’s monopolized a decent portion of our closet and doesn’t seem to be relinquishing it anytime soon. I tolerate it because I don’t need the space nor do I … Continue reading

August 5, 2013
by Creed

Children are Parasites

Children and babies are parasites. They attach themselves to a host. They consume. They contribute nothing. In fact, one could argue that children ranging from fetal to age 18, and sometimes beyond, are parasites. Honestly, what does a child contribute? Nothing. … Continue reading

August 2, 2013
by Creed

Thousands of Years of Bad Parenting Advice

I really despise listening to other parents discussing their entitled youngsters. And they are everywhere. These are the people behind you in line at the grocery store, or sitting across the waiting room in the doctors office, or at the … Continue reading

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