Hark! 'Tis the Coiffure of a Bunned Man I See - Dad for Beginners Hark! 'Tis the Coiffure of a Bunned Man I See - Dad for Beginners

Dad for Beginners

Amateurism at its best

Hark! ‘Tis the Coiffure of a Bunned Man I See


Fashion is an unstable and malleable industry. Within the fashion industry, trends come and go seemingly at random and few people can successfully predict what will be the next hot style. In our current society, the hot trend is a hairstyle for men. The man bun. Like most hair trends, the male hair bun originated in the celebrity community and trickled down to normal society where like any other trend, it is embraced, abused, ridiculed and desired all at once.

The man bun is not for the faint of heart. It takes gall and self-assurance for the average man to make the life changing decision in adopting this most ridiculous of hair styles. Like so many other trends, however, this one is not equally embraced or detested. There are a garden variety of social miscreants who find this tightly wound yet disheveled ball of fur protruding from a man’s scalp to be attractive. While the style hasn’t exactly morphed into a foolproof means to bring about coitus with the opposite sex, it also hasn’t been totally rejected by the heterosexual female. The man bun, it seems, has found an awkward social space between disgusting vagrant and elitist Robber Baron.

man bun

The “high” man bun indicates that this trend may be rooted in the intrinsic evolutionary desire of the modern man to become a unicorn.

A recent survey revealed that the gross majority of women find the man bun repugnant and refuse to date men who flaunt this bizarre hair style. Interestingly, women polled have expressed preference in the male ponytail over the man bun yet a mere 3-5 years ago, who among us thought that ponytail-guy would command a broader sexual audience outside of the typical biker rallies, NRA club, or state of South Dakota?

With the evolution of the man bun has come a new, innovative twist for the lazy man seeking this style. The clip on man bun allows the prospective bun-wearer to simply attach and remove this article of hair at will without the effort of growing or even occasionally washing this moppy mess atop his cranium. The clip on man bun best personifies the modern male who, despite endeavoring to adopt to new trends, is simply too lazy to do so. It’s a win-win for the contemporary dude.

man bun

For the low cost of $9.99, you too can adopt this style without any effort, you loathsome male diva you.

The key to sporting a successful man bun is all about environment. The man bun is a trendy and strategic social ploy used to define masculinity in a popularly androgynous way, thereby creating the perception that this fellow with the hair ball attached to his head has actualized social awareness. So much so, in fact, that the juxtaposition of femininity and masculinity is an afterthought is the wake of more explicit emotions such as total disgust or extreme sexual arousal. Perhaps in his own mind, man-bun-guy is the quintessential definition of highbrow class and lowbrow approachability. He’s a true social genius.

The downside to this postulation, however, is that when the man bun is articulated in the wrong social space such as a funeral, a birthday, or the workplace, it becomes dangerous. Surely it can be an aggressive style to introduce in certain arenas such as a child’s birthday party for fear that one might scare the children.  Man-bun-guy must exercise extreme caution other areas as well such as a job interview, otherwise the guy with a tattoo of an avocado on his neck might just get the job instead. A recent study found that by simply introducing just one man bun into a modern office, the vast majority of workers unconsciously donned sleeveless apparel and, almost divinely, all the women became pregnant.

A true social dichotomy, the man bun is a precarious trend for the average man to successfully adopt. We live in a judgmental world where reasonable fashion trends such as face tattoos and formal suits made entirely of meat have been unfairly ridiculed. Be careful out there, man-bun-guy, for you walk the road less traveled.

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked *.

%d bloggers like this: